


some time after everything

by kuwah



Series: Gintama Plot Bunnies [1]
Category: Gintama
Genre: Canon Compliant, Gen, Manga Spoilers, Post-Canon
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-25
Updated: 2020-10-04
Packaged: 2021-03-08 02:41:25
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,493
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26648440
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kuwah/pseuds/kuwah
Summary: Takasugi's living at the odd jobs and starts to remember.
Series: Gintama Plot Bunnies [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1938880
Comments: 17
Kudos: 30





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> i cant have been in this fandom and not written anything for it
> 
> × this is reincarnated takasugi if that was unclear

Takasugi is three years old when he first brings it up, and it's not anything Gintoki expects at all.

He'd known (vaguely, somewhere in the back of his mind, somewhere that he stayed as far away from as possible) that this _might_ happen. Shouyou had remembered, too, after all, but Shouyou had never actually been normal. That said, Takasugi couldn't be called normal anymore either.

They're eating dinner. Takasugi has his Yakult instead of water, as usual, but he's picking at his food instead of eating it. Kagura, all of nineteen and with a great appreciation of anything edible, questions his behavior.

“Why're you not eating, Sugi?”

Takasugi pushes some rice around. “I remembered something.”

Takasugi is three. There's not many memories for him to have, but Kagura encourages him to elaborate. It doesn't occur to Gintoki yet that he's not remembering anything from the three years he's been living, he's remembering things from the three years he's been dead.

Clearly he's uncomfortable at Kagura's line of questions. He doesn't want to talk about it. He doesn't know what to do with what he knows, so he would rather have just not known. He doesn't want to be Takasugi, he just wants to be Sugi of Odd Jobs Gin-chan. Gintoki can gather the first bit of that himself.

“If he doesn't want to talk about it, leave him alone. I'm trying to eat in peace.”

“He wouldn't bring it up if he didn't want to talk about it, 'kay. Right, Sugi?”

There's a moment of hesitance before he speaks. “Everything hurt, and Gin-chan was gonna cry, and there was a lot of blood.”

It's like dead weight. Except this has the weight of an elephant, and that elephant is stepping on Gintoki's stomach. “Is that all?” Gintoki asks, wrestling the weight away with all his might. It hardly budges. If Takasugi is remembering his own death, then… fuck. Gintoki has no idea what he's going to do.

“I don't know,” Takasugi says, but his gaze keeps flicking away and he's not making eye contact with any of them. “Sometimes I think of other things, but… that one was scary.”

Takasugi doesn't know about the circumstances of his birth—or lack thereof—so it's a bit worrisome that he's identified that these thoughts are memories and not his toddler-brained imagination. Gintoki supposes he should treat this like a nightmare. Not tell him that it wasn't real, but the method of comforting him.

“Come to think of it, it was pretty scary,” Gintoki says, ruffling Takasugi's hair. “This calls for ice cream.”

“You just want to eat ice cream!” Kagura yells. “The Bargain-Dash is mine, wench.”

“Oh, but you'll share with Sugi-kun, won't you? He's upset,” Gintoki says, smiling widely. _You can't keep ice cream from a crying kid._

Kagura loses the moment she hesitates. Takasugi is still doing the sad eyes, but now there's greed in them, too. His dinner sits untouched, the Yakult bottle is empty, and there is ice cream in the freezer. “Sugi can have some,” Kagura bites out. “ _Only_ Sugi can have some. He's the one who's upset, after all.” If she gets some for herself, she'll be obligated to get some for Gintoki, too. She'll make certain sacrifices to make sure that doesn't happen.

“So what were the other things you remembered?” Gintoki asks, turning his attention back to Takasugi. Kagura stands to go to the kitchen, understanding that this battle has ended in a draw. “The not-scary things.”

Takasugi puts his hands on the table and plays with his fingers. “We were playing a game to find a rock, and it was fun, but you cheated and Zura won.”

Gintoki can recall the game of trying to find the rock with Shouyou's name on it. It was an effective way to keep the three of them occupied when they started to become restless and subsequently annoying. Takasugi shows no signs of thinking that it's weird. He doesn't think it's strange that he has memories of Gintoki and Zura as kids. For what memories are returning to him, he still has the brain of a three-year-old.

The instance that Shouyou had been with Gintoki, when he'd just told him that he remembered him just fine, he'd seemed like an adult in a child's body. With Takasugi, it looks like it's going to be more of a case of a child trying to live with an adult's memories. 

Nothing about this can go well. Not with the way their lives went. Takasugi's death, in comparison to the other things he'd experienced, was far from the worst of it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> plot bunny means there was no structure and there was no plan
> 
> i want to write but have no ideas so… feel free to leave a request. i'll also write for like haikyuu and bnha


	2. joui four attempt

“Why did you have to pick a place so far away?” Gintoki complains, sitting down at the table where Zura and Tatsuma already are. The restaurant is nice, way beyond anything he can afford. Tatsuma offered to pay whatever he couldn't to convince him to come. Gintoki's carrying Takasugi, who's having a nice nap on his numbing shoulder.

Zura laughs at him with his whole chest. Takasugi makes an incoherent noise and shifts to drool on a dry patch of Gintoki's shirt. “Oi, rat,” Gintoki says. “I know you're awake.”

Takasugi lifts his head and scowls at him. “You're a rat,” he mumbles as Gintoki puts him down on the cushions they're seated on. He rubs his eyes and Gintoki uses his sleeve to wipe the spit off his cheek. “Why did I have to come here? You're all old and loud,” Takasugi sneers through his sleepy haze. He punctuates this by lifting Gintoki's arm out of the way so he can lean on his side. Just because he's tired doesn't mean he has to put the three of them through his petty bullshit. Gintoki's about to tell him just that, but evidently he's in a foul mood himself, because Zura and Tatsuma are unfazed.

“It's a Joui reunion, 'nd you're the same age as us, Sugi!”

“I don't know who you are.”

The mood plummets even further. It's a nice, bitter reminder of everything that's happened and how the little kid sitting in front of them is their friend who's already died once. The warm lighting and gentle music do nothing. The food smells good, Gintoki's stomach growls, and it stays the way it is. How is it that Takasugi can be so young, so innocent, with a new life and all that, but still be like this? How does he manage to ruin the atmosphere so effortlessly?

Tatsuma, bless him, manages to laugh off Takasugi's crass attitude (after a fairly long, hellish period of silence) and explains who he is with extravagant arm movements, but gets blatantly ignored. He's served his purpose as the loud guy. It's almost sad, but then again, it's Tatsuma. “Gin-chan,” Takasugi says, looking up at him. “What's Joui?”

He's remembered fragments before they joined the war, and a few moments after, but nothing from in between. If he has, he's hiding it, but Gintoki doesn't think that's possible. (If he'd cried then, he'll definitely cry now. Takasugi may be an edgelord, but he's not made of that kind of metal.)

Gintoki puts his elbows on the table and his head in his hands. He can't even drink because he's responsible for Takasugi. “Joui suck.” He points at Zura. “This guy was a Joui, so don't listen to anything he says.”

Takasugi nods and settles back against him.

“Gintoki, what are you teaching him!? Why!?” Zura, naturally, zeroes in on the attack against him and doesn't realize that he can just point out that they all used to be Joui. He looks like he wants to jump across the table and take Takasugi away from Gintoki by force.

“Life lessons, Zura. You'll see when you have kids.”

“Takasugi is not your child, that is not a life lesson, and it's not Zura, it's Katsura.”

“Sugi, do you think this guy's worth listening to?”

“No, but Zura's more worth listening to than you, Gin-chan.” Gintoki clicks his tongue. Takasugi's only like this because mentally he's definitely older than he should be. He remembers how Gintoki was when they were kids, so that means no respect for Gin-chan.

It's bullshit. Gintoki's the one who changed his diapers and buys him his beloved Yakult. “Gin-chan takes offense to that,” he says before he remembers Takasugi won't know what that means. “That's mean.”

Takasugi doesn't apologize. He eats his food, and they talk about useless things until he falls asleep again.

A little while later a ship looms over the four of them, the air smells like fish, and Takasugi's drooling on Gintoki's shoulder. Takasugi is the one who'd been enamoured by Tatsuma's stories of his latest adventures and had not-so-politely asked to see his ship.

Gintoki regrets agreeing now. Waking Takasugi up might be a mistake. He's a pest when he can't sleep at night, and there's always tomorrow. (There isn't. Tatsuma's leaving tomorrow, but Gintoki can just say he didn't know.) It's dark and there are a lot of Amanto around the port. Gintoki doesn't know if Takasugi's memories can be triggered by anything, but he's been dodging places like this since he started getting them back.

“He's been on ships better than this,” Gintoki reasons with himself. “We came here, it's his fault for falling asleep.”

Tatsuma is _more_ than eager to show the new, clearly-nicer-than-the-old Takasugi his ship. He shifts his weight from one foot to the other and then pouts like a child. “Don't be like that, Kintoki. He was excited about it!”

“ _Gin_ toki, and when you invited me out here I was excited for alcohol. I didn't think you two would be so happy to join the daycare.”

“Hey, Ta-ka-su-gi,” Zura whispers, flicking the top of his head once with each syllable. “Wake up if you want to see the ship. Gintoki's trying to escape.”

Zura's behind him, somehow, and his voice right next to Gintoki's ear scares the shit out of him. “Fucking—” He spins around and kicks Zura in the knee. “Shut up.”

The movement wakes Takasugi, but his face remains planted on Gintoki's shoulder. “Are we there yet?” he mumbles. Gintoki gestures to Tatsuma with a friendly stabbing motion that if he says anything he will kill him.

“We'll go tomorrow,” Gintoki says. “Gin-chan's tired, he's about to drop you.”

“Okay,” comes Takasugi's muffled agreement. He's probably not really listening. That's confirmed when he buries his face deeper into the crook of Gintoki's neck and shoulder and his breaths even out almost instantly.

Tatsuma is utterly dejected. “I'll try to get Mutsu to let us stay another day,” he says. “You _better_ not just assume we left and bail.”

“Yeah, yeah, don't worry,” Gintoki says, planning what he'll tell Takasugi. He gets mad no matter what Gintoki does, so the credibility of the excuse doesn't really matter. He has to shift blame, though, so even when Takasugi is mad at least he won't aim his petty bullshit at him.

Tatsuma knows that this, along with the careless wave of his free hand, means ‘I don't give a damn about what you just said and I will act as if I never heard it’. A classic Gintoki move, so he makes his own plan of going to Odd Jobs to get them when Gintoki inevitably doesn't show up.

The next day, when Tatsuma shows up at Odd Jobs Gin-chan, Shinpachi answers the door. “Kintoki's here, isn't he?” Tatsuma asks. He's fully prepared to laugh when Shinpachi will say, ‘No, he figured you would come and ran away with Sugi’, but that's not what happens.

“Yes, but he's… busy,” Shinpachi says. Not what Tatsuma expected, but he's probably busy oversleeping or watching the weather. At least, that's what Tatsuma would _like_ to think, but Shinpachi seems genuinely sullen.

Shinpachi moves aside to let him in before he can come up with a reply. The whole atmosphere of the odd jobs is dreary. The dog is lying on his stomach with its head resting on its paws, Kagura is quietly chewing on her pickled seaweed, and Gintoki and Takasugi are nowhere to be seen.

Shinpachi gestures for Tatsuma to sit down and then cracks open the door to Gintoki's room. Tatsuma can hear Gintoki's voice very faintly before it abruptly stops when Shinpachi gets his attention. Tatsuma focuses on the table. Kagura wordlessly offers him a piece of her snack. He takes it.

Gintoki takes his sweet time. When he does come out, he's not welcoming at all. He sits at his desk without even glancing in Tatsuma's direction and sighs heavily, dragging a hand down his face.

“You know how he only remembered a couple of things.”

It takes Tatsuma a second too long to realize that Gintoki is talking to him. “Yes, yes,” he says.

“He didn't remember anything from the war until this morning. So…” Gintoki makes an awkward gesture with his hand. Tatsuma has no clue what it's supposed to imply. “It… He got… upset. Or, I don't know, distressed, or something. You know.”

Tatsuma's heart sinks in a way it doesn't often do. He doesn't completely understand Takasugi's whole… situation, but this must've happened because of him. He doesn't think this because he's the self-blaming type, but because it's obvious. Takasugi didn't remember anything from the war, and the day after he met Tatsuma for the first time for the second time he remembered whatever he did because when he met Tatsuma for the first time the first time, it was during the war.

“He's sleeping now,” Gintoki says, not looking at Tatsuma. Whether that's because he knows what Tatsuma is thinking or because he's distracted with his own thoughts, he doesn't know.

Up until now, Gintoki raised Takasugi knowing exactly who he was and who he will be. For some reason it aches that he'll be shaped by the bullshit memories of _before_ and not _now_. It shouldn't hurt, because Takasugi is his friend and he _died_ , he died and they should want him back, or wish he was with them, or something, and he _will_ be, so why does it feel like a _bad_ thing that he's remembering?

He won't be the Takasugi from Odd Jobs Gin-chan anymore. He won't be this Takasugi anymore because there never was a _this_ Takasugi or _that_ Takasugi. There's just Takasugi. Sugi the petty child and Takasugi the bitch emo are the same. They've always been the same. Maybe it's the fact that he's in a child's body that makes this harder, or maybe it's something else entirely. It's fucked. It feels like sacrificing one for the other. It hurts no matter how much Gintoki knows— _knows_ —that that's not how it is at all.

No tour of his ship today, then, Tatsuma thinks. No tour of his ship probably ever, because eventually Sugi will be Takasugi in full, and Tatsuma won't be here tomorrow or probably until that's done.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this started off as a joui reunion which spiralled into tatsuma appreciation which spiralled into complicated premise feelings & issues angst
> 
> there are some things i wanted to get across that im not sure if i did but this was a trip to think about and i enjoyed it a lot
> 
> i am always, one hundred percent of the time struggling for ideas so feel free to leave requests or anything •v•


End file.
